Jokes!

I think and write only.
Dont complain my bm not good.

Pada suatu hari, ada 3 orang perempuan tinggal di dalam sebuah kampung.
Tiap-tiap hari, mereka ‘dream’ untuk menjadi seorang yang cantik.

Pada suatu malam, mereka bertiga bermimpi tentang seorang nenek kembayan.
Nenek kembayan itu kata, kalau mahu bertukar wajah, pergi ke sungai di belakang sana.
Lompat ke dalam sungai itu dan teriak apa yang kamu mahu.

Pada hari yang seterusnya, mereka bertiga pun bersama-sama pergi ke sungai itu.

Perempuan yang pertama pun lompat ke dalam sungai itu sambil menjerit,‘AKU MAHU JADI SITI NURHALIZA!’
dan poof dia bertukar menjadi siti nurhaliza.

Perempuan yang kedua pun ikut. Dia menjerit, AKU MAHU JADI PARIS HILTON!
dan poof dia telah bertukar menjadi paris hilton.

Perempuan yang ketiga dengan hati yang bangga dan gembira.
Dia pun mula lari dari jarak yang jauh dari sungai.
Dia lari dengan lajuuuu sekali! hampir sampai di sungai, tiba-tiba dia terpijak sebiji batu lalu jatuh,
dia pun marah, mak ■■■■■■■ lu dan poof! dia menjadi sebiji lubang p***.


Pada suatu hari, LowYat mengadakan satu pertandingan, “p*ki siapa yang paling besar”!

Okay. Mereka mengadakan majlis ini di dalam sebuah stadium.

MC itu pun menjemput peserta dari china!

Perempuan china pun mengambil sebatang kayu-balak yang besar sekali lalu, cucuk ke dalam p*kinya
Semua penonton pun wowowowowowowowoo!!!

Selepas itu, MC pun menjemput peserta dari England!

Perempuan dari England itu pun masuk kan sebuah lori kedalam lubang pukinya.
semua penonton pun f wowowowowowowowow

Selepas itu, sinilah peserta malaysia!
MC itu pun teriak Malaysia!

Tiba-tiba, stadium itu menjadi gelap sekali.
Tahukah kenapa?

Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide…
sebab peserta malaysia telah memasukkan stadium itu kedalam p*kinya shakehead.gif


Pada suatu hari, LowYat mengadakan satu pertandingan, tattoo siapa yang paling benar!?

Sinilah peserta China!

Peserta itu tarik baju dia, wow! Naga dia nampaknya boleh bergerak dan warnanya bagai naga yang benar!
Semua penonton pun wowowowowoowowo!

Peserta Bangla pula menunjukkan tattoo seorang perempuan berbogel.
Tattoo itu macam boleh bergerak dan nampaknya perempuan itu sedang menari
semua penonton pun rclxms.gif wowowowowoow!
Kini, adalah peserta dari Malaysia!
Seorang peserta apek keluar!

Tariklah baju dia! dia show muscle dia di lengan dia!(shoulder)
Sebuah pokok kelapa sawit!
Semua penonton pun jerit wooooooooo buuuuuuuuuuuuuu shakehead.gif

Apek itu pun berkata, ei!, ini pokok benar ni!
Tengok akar dia!
Dia menunjukkan bulu ketiak dia. lol

Sorry if these story are very blur…
I just think and write only 8)

at least its original than fwded msg. LOL…

:lol:

nice one dude …

Thanks!

i like the one coconut tree… MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA

sawit is coconut ah?

he missed the ‘sawit’ part. hahahaha…
another joke…hahahaha

adult jokes ( 18+ )

A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does,
his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled.

The man turns to her and says, ‘Ma’am, if your heart is as soft as your breast,
I know you’ll forgive me.’
She replies, ‘If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 221.’

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife’s arm.
The wife turns over and says ‘I’m sorry honey, I’ve got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.’
The husband, rejected, turns over.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
‘Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?’


Bill worked in a pickle factory.
He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day
to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion.
He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.
His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.
One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.
‘What’s wrong, Bill?’ she asked.
‘Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?’
‘Oh, Bill, you didn’t’ she exclaimed.
‘Yes, I did.’ he replied.
‘My God, Bill, what happened?’
‘I got fired.’
‘No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?’
‘Oh…she got fired too.’


A couple had been married for 50 years.
They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, ‘Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.’
‘I know,’ the old man said. ‘We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago.’
‘Well,’ Granny snickered. ‘Let’s relive some old times.’
Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
‘You know, honey,’ the little old lady breathlessly r eplied, ‘My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.’
‘I wouldn’t be surprised,’ replied Gramps. 'One’s in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal