How to split when relationship gone sour?

There was this very intersting discussion on the radio today, I thought I will bring it here for our discussion. They were debating on who should keep the jewellery or belongings that were either paid by one party or shared by both parties.

It is really quite common that when a relationship sparks, people generally share everything that they have got. (Share the good and the bad) But once the relationship turned sour, they split everything. It is quite sad and pathetic that way. If one were to split those things in halves, how could one split them evenly so that both parties are happy with it?

Now, it may be easier to split furniture, kitchen appliances, etc, but how would one go about with engagement ring? You keep it or return it? Or maybe sell it and split the money in halves?

I guess, there is no right and wrong answer to this. It all depends on individuals, but it would be interesting to know how things go about around us.

One time I bought a brand new Nokia phone for my gf

she dumped me the next day…I didn’t ask for it back

If I was the person that it was given too - I would give it back to the person who bought it for me if he really wanted it back. Because I am not that type of person to keep anything that people do not want me to keep. I think its depending on the person and how the person is feeling.

Anger and revenge can sometimes get the better of a person.

I will not ask for it… I will give it all out… but if she wants to share, then will share, if not… she can have everything… no problem… :wink:

Gentlemen la sikit… betul tak. :wink:

i beleive, that it is the individual who loses, his/her heart,
that has lost the most, ie., Absolute Everything.

Signet rings/baudry, surely come a poor second?

consequences are, that we have to legitimise ‘losses’,
but for most of us,
forking out/transfers of, several hundred thousands,
is poor compensation,
to a life, once rich in smiles.

If possible, sign a pre-nup agreement.

Now, Geekguy. We had this discussion on the pre-nup in my previous thread. Who would sign a pre-nup with someone that you are dating for less than 3 months? Who would sign a pre-nup after you guys have been out for years? It is awkward to even discuss about the pre-nup. Dont you think? Hmm I dont know, I am just wondering. Surely, all those you dont love me, trust me phrases will pop up!

For me, I was taught not to accept expensive gift from anyone. If my partner wants his entire gifts back after we split up, he can have it. No point keeping it when he is not around?

[quote=“smallee”]I will not ask for it… I will give it all out… but if she wants to share, then will share, if not… she can have everything… no problem… :wink:

Gentlemen la sikit… betul tak. :wink:[/quote]

ya…i agree with u Smallee. we both got same thinking n cool man style. now u realize why my nick called Coolman ?? heheheee…

whatever coolman do, he will not give away the honda :mrgreen:

ya. that lasap honda is half of my life. for sure wont give away ! :evil:


I would like to assume that the parties are legally married and not engaging in a common law relationship. further, this is an extra legal or extra judicial partition of properties or to simply say it a layman concept of settlement of properties in accordance with our individual approach.

in my idea, the man should give the jewelry including the engagement ring to woman as a token of gratitude for those wonderful or may be a bad moments ha ha ha that they shared together, and also, it is a manifestation of man’s goodness or greatness in accepting the reality of life in a love relationship.

on the other things, like appliances, furnitures, kitchen utensils etc., if they can divide them into pieces they may do so. However, for those things that are physically indivisible, i agree with you stef that they should be sold out and the proceeds thereof should be likewise equally divided between them.

I think with my idea the woman will be happy about it. However, in legal or judicial partition of property the matter would not be the same with things that i stated above.

merely my plain opinion.any comment will be welcome

have a good day


have a good day

i think never gives the girl material stuffs to make her happy is a good idea…like handset, jewelery, car…

A girl who works in our office had this incident last year.

She went out with this guy for 3 months and then got engaged. (Gulp!) Her partner sold his car to get her the engagement ring which cost approx. RM30k. They have also paid deposit for most of their wedding arrangement, ie. the gown (cost another RM30k because it was designer made), the wedding function and honeymoon trip, etc. God knows how much they have spent.

Then, they split up 3 months before their wedding. Her partner asked for his entire share back. She refused and has decided to keep the RM30k ring. She claimed that she has sacrificed a lot for the wedding plus she felt humiliated because the wedding was at halt. (Invitations were sent out!) Her partner didnt persist on getting his share but started to spread their indecent affairs to people around her. (Not a gentleman at all)

Anyway, she still has the ring. I really do not see the point of keeping the ring which may remind her of him?!

ummm… well, she can always sell the 30K ring. It’s very clear that the relationship turned more than sour here - probably on the verge of a catastrophe. The fact that he didn’t persist on getting his share back is already good enough but probably keeping a grudge and a spot of revenge over her keeping the ring for herself for illogical reasons.

Personally I think one can smell trouble from the beginning - an engagement ring costing 30K?

Stef: dat girl is a GOLD DIGGER!
hope she die of a horrible, painful death!!
okay, dat was abit dramatic…

Since i dunno who ended the relationship n why, i think she wan2 keep d ring as ‘insurance’.
can sell later when hv no money.
RM30K for a ring?!!WOW, dat like buying the girl from the parent!!

cant blame the poor guy who hv2 sell his car to buy the ring…
if i was dat guy, ask everything i paid oredi.
if not, try to sue (if possible) la.

GIFTS ARE NEVER MEAN TO BE RETURN…so just keep it/ burn/ sell/ give some1

btw, the wife can ask for the house n car (assets) if she was divorced by her husband.
It is the law but not many ppl know about this…

some girls are just gold diggers, like to take the money and run.

Then 2 or 3 years down the road they are doing ‘bad stuff’ on the street

I returned everything…if the guy refused to take it back, I throw it away… No point keeping it there to remind me of the past. :lol:

if the guy refused to take it back, I throw it away… No point keeping it there to remind me of the past.

Why not give it to charity?

For your information, she is super dooper rich. I dont think she is after his money. He might be a gold digger? That, I dont know.

Ian, she said she tried to sell it to the jewellery shops but they were reluctant to take it. According to her, because it was a custom made ring (she designed it herself). They would take it but would pay her less than half the price. (RM15K less!!!) So, that is why she is keeping it.

Eh, Haroldz, dont be mean. Why did you curse her? I think she is willing to spend that much because she wants it to be a perfect fairy tale wedding. :shock:

A few of you guys mentioned about being in a marriage. I guess if you are married, when you get divorced the court will rule who to get what? (Correct me if I am wrong, I am guessing.)

What I am really on about is when you are actually in a relationship stage without getting hitched. The court wont be able to justify what belongs to whom? (Maybe Judge Judy could? :shock:)

Aahh yes, so she designed the ring, that’s why its got a certain sentimental value to it because she made it herself (i hope). Still, a 30K engagement ring? And saying that the embarrassment she has to go through it all isn’t a good excuse to keep the ring that he sold his car for. This has all the traits of a spoilt ‘daddy’s little princess’ to it if you ask me.

Anyway, this based on your viewpoint of the story, we do not know the real deal behind it. It’s all complicated stuff when things like this happen, best to keep out of it, and tough for them both because it didn’t work out.