Funny Idioms

Discussions General
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I got it forward from friend and tot of sharing with you all :wink: … enjoys 8)

  1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

  2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.

  3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it. So I said “Implants?” She hit me.

  4. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?

  5. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place!

  6. When I was young we used to go “skinny dipping,” now I just “chunky dunk.”

  7. Don’t argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

  8. Wouldn’t it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press ‘Ctrl Alt Delete’ and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!

  9. Why is it that our children can’t read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

  10. Wouldn’t you know it … Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FATcells live forever.

  11. Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

  12. Bumper sticker of the year:
    “If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it’s in English, thank a soldier”

And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. Ya just might want to pass this along…

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Funny stuff…I liked the fourth one…really makes us wonder…

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:lol:

  1. Wouldn’t it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press ‘Ctrl Alt Delete’ and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!

I dunno, if we could do that, then means it isn’t us who messes up, it’s the Universe who did. What we should be looking for is Cmd/Ctrl+Z

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  1. Wouldn’t it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press ‘Ctrl Alt Delete’ and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!

I dunno, if we could do that, then means it isn’t us who messes up, it’s the Universe who did. What we should be looking for is Cmd/Ctrl+Z[/quote]Relax Ian … u have being very "serious’ into “thing” lately … Chilled out and stay cool 8) and laugh out loud :lol:

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You’re right. It’s hard to lighten up when the Universe runs Windows. :stuck_out_tongue:

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[quote=“ian”]You’re right. It’s hard to lighten up when the Universe runs Windows. :P[/quote]lol … try to go into this video then … u may need that :wink:

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and I am looking at my fingers now… “Bang”